2/14/16 Flawless Fact Checkers

I am stuck in a cubical of my own design on a ship in the caribbean. My standup shows are done and i have two more days to figure out WordPress and power press and a multi podcast channel and hosting and… Blah blah blah! As I sit here I have watched, out of the corner of my eye, two presidential debates and countless hours of can world news.

I have noticed something disturbing… Female news anchors are getting hotter and smarter at the same time.

I wonder what sort of stem cell, genetic, or nutritional experimentation is happening behind the closed doors of the elite news centers that is creating these feminine super-anchors.

How are the news people getting better looking while everyone they cover is getting grosser? I feel like we are ignoring the fact that HD TV is making us all look ridiculous. Actually we were ALWAYS ridiculous but now we ca see it!

This new generation of flawless fact checkers may be the answer to the growing problem of sharper focus on duller people.

As if it wasn’t already getting tougher for me to justify trying to get on television with every year I put on my epidermis. Now technology now adds three!

That said, explain the bright orange lunatic running for president! We should elect the five most stunning news anchors, Anderson Cooper included, as one president. Then we put the all in liquid latex and make the legislate on camera. Now that is a political process I could get behind!

5 Comments Add yours

  1. The hotter on-camera anchors are not getting smarter, since they don’t write what they say. They are cast like actors, not chosen for being excellent reporters as was done prior to the 80s. And the networks and stations are spending more to hire better news writers.

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    1. collinstuff says:

      I do see your point but explain Anderson Cooper. He gives me hope.

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      1. The explanation for Anderson Cooper is that it is theoretically possible to be both smart and beautiful. It’s just more common to not have both those gifts in such abundance.

        My wife was a CBS news writer for 35 years. I should probably have revealed that. I’ve heard hundreds of “this year’s hottie” stories from behind the scenes. Since the 80s, they all hire for “the look”. It’s an added perk if you have journalistic chops too, but you MUST have “the look”, whatever parameters they decide that’s composed of. Some channels are more naked about the practice. Note the endless parade of vacuous “10s” on Fox News.

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      2. collinstuff says:

        “Vacuous 10s” Good name for a modeling agency. It is peculiar how similar vocal conservative women look. Most seem to have an angry blonde image that smacks of moonlighting dominatrixes. What is the plural of dominatrix?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. “Trices”, but “dominatrixies” sounds funnier 😀

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