Vintage Selfies

It struck me today as I struggled to not buy a GoPro. Technology is changing so fast that we forget about the previous tech shifts people had to adjust to.

I took a selfie this morning with my friend Alfred Carr and we laughed our faces off imagining a selfie circa 1798.

You’d have to hold a canvas up to the right and grin strangely while a skilled consignment painter would rush in and paint your awkward and cramped portrait.

Then came the giant exploding flash bulb selfie. We lost a lot of good men that way.

But it all started with holding a 75lb block of stone up to the right while another half naked Adonis chiseled your image into it. It is no wonder those guys were so muscular and naked and inevitable gay. (Historically speaking, the more muscular and naked we get the more we gay)

So the next time I hear anyone whine about how hard it is get a decent selfie with their “piece of shit” phone. I’m going to dry hump him while scetching his reaction in pastels.

Mona Lisa would have been better as a selfie. Just sayin’.

#monalisa #selfie

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