My Gay Dog Loves America

Should we even vote? Why are we forced to vote for this silly group of attention whores?

I know it sounds strange but what if everyone just voted for whoever they wanted? They would count up the votes and SURPRISE! Elon Musk is president and Richard Branson is Vice President and just like jury duty, they HAVE to serve!

Every Presidential inauguration should start with the statement “Fuck! I’m president?”

For those of you who agree with me… You are just as stupid as me!

I have done the numbers and it would still probably be Trump! His Vice President would either be a NASCAR driver or a 15 year old pop star or some WWE clown.

The real reason we have political parties is that the people in legislation don’t want to be surprised by someone they don’t have enough dirt on to control, showing up and shaking the tree until all the bullshit artists fall out.

This is the same reason people want Trump. The only problem is that he is the one example of this and when you only have one choice you typically make a catastrophic decision. Make no mistake Trump’s motivations are very clear. He tells us every time he is in the media. Self. Success. Trump.

He is not trying to make America great. He is trying to make Trump great. He just happens to be using America to do it. It’s a bit like an Extra blowing an A list movie star in the back of a limo in hopes of becoming an A list movie star.

Quit sucking our dick Mr Trump! You will always be a background actor until you learn how to do the work.

What IF there were no nominations or parties? Would Trump really be your first choice or would you vote for your neighbor, landscaper, bartender, or your dog?

I would vote “My Dog” for President. He seems to have it together. He is thoughtful, loyal, protective, and he loves America… I think. There is one problem. I think he is gay.

That is really how screwed up this is getting. He might get elected as a straight dog but I don’t think America is ready for a Gay Dog President.

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