Do you have friends? Do I have friends? Do they know it?
My criteria for people to be my friend may not be the same as my criteria for being a friend to them.
Knowing this only helps in the short term. Today I make change. I make a stronger commitment to being giving of my time. But tomorrow will my focus blur and other things distract me from my new resolve? How do I fix this?
A person HAS to practice. Knowing things just means that when your mind is engaged with the topic, you can think and then do.
Two problems arise when you think, and then do. The first is that it is not practiced, it is thought of first…. There is a delay or an interruption and that creates a break that can be contaminated with another thought. Another ethos. Problem two is that it is only partially rememberred. The nature of the human memory is fundamentally flawed. The human animal has evolved to keep the species alive, as a result it omits and changes huge chunks of memories that it only experienced from a limited point of view in the first place.
When an idea of how to be becomes interesting or clear to us we HAVE to take that new idea, structure it, and dedicate ourselves to a repetitive practice of it. 7 days, 10 days, 3 weeks. Any commitment of repitition to make it instinct.
ANALOGY ALERT! If I am a boxer and I learn a very specific foot movement that completely changes how I box, for the better. Until I have practiced it for days to weeks, it is not a reaction and I won’t be able to do it when I need it.
Life, love, and friendship is the same in so many ways. It is a constant action reaction that is totally driven by survival emotions. Most of our actions in that emotional state are REACTIONS. When we are reacting when don’t have access to intellect. We don’t have access to unpracticed techniques.
If we take time today, and tomorrow, and the next day to put ONE thing we admire in others into practice, years from now a part of it will still be we are. Years from now someone may say “You are such a good friend.” When they do you will know you did it on purpose and it will truly mean more to you and to them.