Ridiculous Humanis Capitalists

What is it about lice that makes us so mad and grossed out?

If you have ever had a kid, you have had a scrape with the parasite Pediculous Humanis Capitis. Human headlice. I regret to talk out loud about this for fear that people who follow my blog might unfollow me due to the unreasonable fear that it can spread through the internet.

The very word lice is usually spoken in hush tones. I recently resisted the idea that my daughter had headlice for a solid three days as she itched and complained and my wife even wrote off anything on her scalp as dandruff. DENIAL. That is the first stage of lice.

We finally had the school nurse take a look and she said it would be a few hours before she could look at her because there was a line of kids with itchy heads waiting outside of her office. A line of kids who’s parents were in total denial and had forced there child to live with little bugs eating at them because “Lice don’t happen to good god fearing’ families that vote Trump.”

We are not unlike the Pediculous Humanis Capitis and many ways. Imagine the Earth is a child’s head and the forests are the hair. We have sent this baby into an emergency state of severe mange. We have burrowed down into the scalp and harvested fuel for our entire infestation, we have pulled out or killed most of what was once an exquisite intergalactic pompadour.

I think our inherent, unreasonable fear and hatred of the Pediculous Humanis Capitis is a fear of ourselves. At some level we all know that baby Elvis head (EARTH) will eventually run a lice comb over us in the form of a comet or massive headquake. This knowledge and lack of action is brought to the surface when we look at the our brother lice. We see the inaction of lice to prepare and defend themselves against our drugstore purchases and we are reminded of our own wanton ignorance of the same.

I find it too coincidental that Pediculous Humanis Capitis sound very much like Ridiculous Humanis Capitalist.

For the next few days I will be creating massive catastrophic events for a community of fellow parasites that probably have predicted this in their tiny lice bibles. There are probably already whack job lice standing on the edge of my daughter’s scalp with signs trying to alert the others but  am in no rush. They won’t believe them.

With every Pediculous Humanis Capitis I see circle the drain I will honor them in hope that some giant universal force will have the same respect for us as we are eradicated so that Earth can go back to school and hangout with it’s friends again.

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