Club America

I want to be part of Club America but first I want a boat.

Do you know what kind I want? Me neither. The price of a boat makes me want a kayak and the price of a kayak makes me want a canoe and the price of a canoe makes me want to go for a ride on someone else’s boat. 

Don’t ask around. Boat people always direct you to a very expensive version of what they always wanted. It’s very rare that someone tells you to get the same exact kind of boat they have. Unless they are trying to sell you their piece o crap, leaking, non starting, sinking, money buoy. 

Maybe whoever the new president is will have a free boat program for people who can prove that they voted for him/her. You can take a copy of your ballot and turn it in for a boat voucher. 

I think that’s what makes election years so exciting. People really think then new president is going to do all the exact things they have always wanted done. We get drunk on promises and forget that we are the door man to Club America and the party is inside! WE get to pick who goes in and they have all kinds of great stories… “I just need to see if my friends in there!” Or “My brothers in there and he has my keys!” Or “Hey! What’s that behind you!?”

The problem is that once we let them in, the door closes and we just get to hear about what happened inside as people are leaving. Ex presidents are like people leaving club America going ” Man it was crazy in there! Look how much older I look!” 

The door guy seldom gets to go inside! He doesn’t have any of the fun. As a matter of fact he only goes inside to break up fights and bring the really messed up people outside where he has to solve the conflicts and fight the battles of the people that he let in.

BUILD a wall? Maybe the wall we should be concerned about is the ones that keep us OUT of Club America. Maybe we shouldn’t be building walls at all. Maybe we should be removing them so that Club America can be the super fun, open air, backyard party that it once was. The party that everyone is welcome at instead of a seedy, secret club where people do bad stuff that they regret for the rest of their lives in an attempt to see and be seen.

We need to bring our social overhead down and live within our means. We are just the door guys. The more we raise the cover charge to Club America the less chance that WE are ever getting in.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Kimber says:


    PS: In lieu of getting a boat try an inner tube. The spontaneity of direction alone is thrilling! 😁


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