Parenting is terrifying, unrewarding, and doomed if you do not face the perfectionist inside of you and do away with it completely. 

I cry when I get time away from my kids because I start reliving my failures as a parent. 

The thing all those failures have in common is the perfectionism that has driven every other success in my life.

The problem is in habitual instinct. The uncontrolled attribute that builds the very success that affords me the luxury of creating and providing for a family of 5, is the same attribute that blocks my ability to unconditionally guide and love the people I’ve created. 

I am aware of this. Does that help? Don’t be fooled by awareness. Don’t think that exempts you from your flaws. 

I keep learning that parenting is about showing up and showing up and showing up and always empathizing. 

Now I am learning about letting go of all that I want so that things can happen as they should and happiness wil just be.