Steering Clear Of The Crazies

The neighbors are drunk again. I am on a cruise ship and the people in the cabin next to me for the last 6 days have been getting in drunken, screaming, knock down drag out arguments over, ironically, “respect”.

I noticed on the first day when everyone in their family  was impatiently yelling at each other about getting ready. From there the drink package took hold and the Husband started getting screamed at for a solid 15-30 minutes per evening about “respect”. The night usually ends with the kids getting their clothes and going to their Aunty’s cabin while the Husband and Wife slam doors for an hour or so and scream at each other. As far as I can tell it has always stopped just short of being physical but I quit scoring the fights as it has gotten too sad due to the children. My scorecard has everybody losing.

If I was a normal person, without massive baggage, I would call security and complain so they would understand that their behavior isn’t welcome here or anywhere else. But I am paralyzed due to flashbacks of being a child and witnessing the same exact behavior. I am frozen, thinking it will calm down eventually if I just keep my head down. When you are a kid in that environment your parents are like wild animals. You feel like they can’t see you if you don’t look them in the eye. I feel like that kid again only I don’t get to go to my Aunty’s cabin.

Part of my paralysis is due to my roll as a paid entertainer that knows things on these ships get blown out of proportion very quickly and can result in a severely negative light being cast over you for future bookings even if  you are in the right. However the real reason I react to conflict the way I do is because I overdosed on it as a kid and only survived by steering clear of the crazies.

This week has dredged up some weird memories and forced me to face some of my fears. Thank you assholes next door for giving me an opportunity to analyze a part of myself that needs a lot of work. Sorry you have to go through a life of being you just to do me that favor.

Oh yeah. Assholes next door, on behalf of your kids… Go Fuck Yourselves.

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