It seems inevitable. Marijuana is becoming legal. Great! Perfect timing.

I am legally allowed to smoke Cannabis in several states. If this was the eighties, it would be a cause for celebration. Everyone had money and the news was fun and exciting!

“The Miracle on ice” kicked things off as the US hockey team defeated the unbeaten Russians. Princess Di and Prince Charles began their fairytale. The birth of cable news gave us a feeling that everything was under control. Pac man became sport! Even the president was getting some and everyone was OK with it!

The 80s were a great time to be stoned…

Not now.

Get high now and you better not check your news alerts or turn on the TV or talk to a chatty friend. If you smoked out in the 80s and watched the news you would have been mesmerized by the greatest tennis match of all time or the Simon and Garfunkle reunion or you could have had a long winding talk with Mom about how awesome it was that we now have the first woman on the supreme court

Now? The news is everywhere. You can’t hide from it. When that news alert goes off after a mean bong rip you find yourself in the fetal position muttering about North Korea or health care or Mira Lago. You can’t even screw around on twitter. The president will find you and scare the living daylights out of you by firing all vegans from the post office or something.

The bottom line is that weed has become like shrooms or climbing Mount Everest. You can only safely do it with a guide and no internet connection.