Club America

I want to be part of Club America but first I want a boat. Do you know what kind I want? Me neither. The price of a boat makes me want a kayak and the price of a kayak makes me want a canoe and the price of a canoe makes me want to go…

White Guilt -No Template For The Unspeakable 

Do you feel guilty? Abundance is a way of life for some. Perspective is so fleeting. I just ate an incredibly balanced and tasty meal. I had more than I needed and was able to pick exactly what was best for me at the moment. This abundance helps to lead to physiology that allows me…

Would you vote for your inner voice?

My inner voice has been yammering at me all day. It always says exactly what I am thinking and that is not always the right thing. If I just met my inner voice I would never hang out with him much less vote for him. Inner voices aren’t held responsible for their actions by the…

Ridiculous Humanis Capitalists

What is it about lice that makes us so mad and grossed out? If you have ever had a kid, you have had a scrape with the parasite Pediculous Humanis Capitis. Human headlice. I regret to talk out loud about this for fear that people who follow my blog might unfollow me due to the…

The New Dark Ages

I travel quite a bit so sometimes I am forced to watch people eat.  It starts out as an exciting event. Taking in a meal, getting some writing done, you know, best laid plans. Ordering starts the awareness of other people. Then finding a seat. People try to be polite but it is strained at…

My Gay Dog Loves America

Should we even vote? Why are we forced to vote for this silly group of attention whores? I know it sounds strange but what if everyone just voted for whoever they wanted? They would count up the votes and SURPRISE! Elon Musk is president and Richard Branson is Vice President and just like jury duty,…

Scalia – a lesson in turning down interviews

Poor Justice Scalia! The legacy he leaves to a barely watching populous that is more interested in loudmouth idiots than intellectuals that may not share their opinions is an interview with Piers Morgan. Honestly I don’t know if “Piers” is spelled correctly but I can tell you that I don’t give a shit! The interview…

2/14/16 Flawless Fact Checkers

I am stuck in a cubical of my own design on a ship in the caribbean. My standup shows are done and i have two more days to figure out WordPress and power press and a multi podcast channel and hosting and… Blah blah blah! As I sit here I have watched, out of the…

What kind Of Name Is Major?

I watched the GOP debate tonight and I am very impressed with one thing… The moderators name. Major! Wow. I am going to rename my kids Privates 1 and 2, my Wife will now be ¬†Sergeant Major and I will be known as Corporal. I had no idea that name was possible. this changes everything!…